#captureyourgrief

Day 2 - Intention This one was a little hard for me.  I wanted my intention for the month to be something that could change me, make...

Day 2 - Intention




This one was a little hard for me.  I wanted my intention for the month to be something that could change me, make me a better person in honor of Grayson.  A lot of things came to mind, but they were things I was already working on.  I wanted my intention to be new and fresh.  So in honor of my sweet little Grayson, I intend to let the little things go.  I will not let the frustrating little things harden my heart.

Last night I was in the car with Dan, complaining that I was so tired of one thing hitting us after another.  The last two months have been the hardest of our lives, and it felt as if the world was testing us to see just how much we could handle, kind of kicking us while we were already down.  I felt like it was starting to get really hard to stay positive and optimistic.  And then I realized that there will always be little hard things happening in life.  And even if they aren't that little, like losing a job, or wrecking your car, nothing is as hard as saying goodbye to your baby.  So in comparison, they are little things.  And I've got to learn to let them go.

I know it's okay to be upset when you're grieving, and angry when you're grieving, but I could see myself becoming very bitter about life if I kept holding onto the little things.  I will continue to grieve my son, but I won't bother grieving about how I didn't have my way that one day, or how my body isn't losing weight like it used to.  I know Grayson wants me to stay kind, and loving, and soft in spite of my trials.  So that is what I'll do.

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1 comments

  1. I remember feeling the same way. I should probably recommit to this. It's so easy to feel like nothing else should ever go wrong because my baby already died and that should be enough. But it's just as true that nothing else matters in comparison.

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